A few weeks ago, we sang an old hymn in church. Like a lot of churches, my church projects the song lyrics on the screen. This isn’t all bad, because it encourages me to look up and out, rather than burying my head in a hymnal. But one thing I miss about hymnals is the printed notes.
You see, I am an alto, and altos typically sing harmony. I don’t have enough talent to harmonize on the fly. I can, however, harmonize if the notes are printed for me. On some of the old hymns, the alto part is familiar enough that I can remember. But this time I was struggling. I needed my sister to help me find the note.
My second sister is an alto as well. She has a better singing voice and a better ear than I do. And since she is the sister that still lived in my hometown during my growing-up years, I spent many Sunday mornings next to her, listening to her sing the alto part and following her lead.
Sisters and Friends
My sisters are always helping me find the note, both literally and figuratively. They celebrate with me when things are going well. They pray for me when things aren’t. And they tell me when I am being a brat. I need them for all three of these things.
I saw a plaque once that read: “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”1
My sisters were my first friends, of course. Our friendship has changed as we have grown. But they are still helping me find the right note. I have other friends who are like sisters, who help me find the note as well.
Walking Alongside Our Sisters
We are created for community. The Bible says we are to bear each other’s burdens, pray for each other, and serve each other. Not everybody has a biological sister, but we should be a part of a local church. And hopefully within that church body are women, both older and younger, that we can walk alongside and who can walk alongside us. If not, that should be something we can pray for God to provide.
What does that look like in real life? Paul gives us some guidance in 1 Thessalonians 5:14: “[W]arn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
Warn the Idle
When we read both 1 and 2 Thessalonians, Paul spends a lot of time saying that Christ is coming again, but we need to work hard at our jobs in the meantime. You could infer from the context that the Thessalonians were so preoccupied with Christ coming again that they weren’t living their lives. So while in its plainest sense it could just mean “stop being so lazy,” I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it could also mean live faithfully where you are as unto the Lord.
Feeling that our day-to-day lives are dull and meaningless is part of being human, not just being a woman. But it certainly applies to so many seasons of womanhood. Motherhood is particularly unglamorous. It can also apply to the woman who wants to be a wife and a mother but isn’t. We need to walk alongside our sisters and remind them that what they are doing matters, even if they aren’t living their dream.
Admonish the Disruptive
It’s hard to think about admonishing those we love. But I certainly need to hear when I’m being a brat. Others probably do, too.
Encourage the fainthearted, help the weak
Pray with and for your sisters. Send cards and make phone calls when you can’t be there in person. Take a meal to the sick and suffering when you can. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.
Be patient with them all
My sisters still call me their baby sister, but they realize I’m no longer a baby. They don’t remind me of the silly girl I used to be. (Well, not too often, anyway.) Sometimes our sisters, biological and spiritual, need a little time to grow up. Love them through it, and remember what you used to be.
I have been each of those people at times. I have been at times idle, disruptive, fainthearted, and weak. I need warning when I’m being a brat. I need encouragement when I am discouraged. I need help when I am lacking. And I also need patience. And I, in turn, need to be ready to help or hold those around me.
- According to Google, this quote is attributed to Donna Roberts ↩︎
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