Even though I have worn makeup since I was a teenager, I never wore mascara much. It certainly made my lashes appear thicker and longer. But my eyelashes were already dark, and I was apt to smear any mascara I did wear all over my face. It wasn’t worth the hassle.
Until now. My hair is graying—and so are my lashes. So mascara it is. And since I now have to wear bifocals, I am less likely to rub my eyes and smear my mascara. A win-win, I suppose.
I was having trouble finding a brand, though. It seemed that it would work for awhile, then, as my lashes grayed more, it wouldn’t cover as well. Or so I thought. Last week I found an unused tube of a previous brand in a travel bag. When I tried it, it worked great. The issue is embarrassingly elementary, but I finally realized that I wasn’t replacing the tubes quickly enough.
Speaking of bifocals, I had a similar experience with them. I first thought the problem was inferior lighting. I kept buying new light bulbs and reading lamps. One morning, though, as my husband watched me struggling to tilt the lampshade to see my Bible, he set his readers on my face. Lo and behold, it was as if someone finally turned on the lights—literally and figuratively.
The Slow Fade I Didn’t Expect
I have always known that mascara tubes run out and middle aged people become farsighted, but I didn’t think that it would happen so gradually. It seems absurd to write it now, but I guess I assumed that one morning the mascara tube would be completely dry. Or that I would be completely unable to focus on small print.
It rarely happens that way with anything in life. Marriages don’t explode with one big fight, but a thousand small hurts. Friendships don’t end on a formal agreement, but after extended periods of neglect and lack of communication. Our houses don’t typically go from well-maintained to derelict in a day. Likewise, we don’t go from fit and well to sluggish and ill in a week.
Where It Starts
But beyond that, we are so quick to put the problem on the outside. It wasn’t the mascara brand, it was my failure to replace it on time. It wasn’t the lighting in my house, but my eyes. These two truths—that problems come about gradually and often start within us—may sometimes be unconnected, but more often than not, I think they are.
Things sneak up on us because we are looking in the wrong direction. We are looking for the new brand of mascara, rather than just replenishing what we have. We are looking to the outside solution, rather than the one within ourselves. So what are the solutions to this problem?
Rest and Reflect
At risk of running the mascara metaphor into the ground, sometimes we just need to replenish. You may just need a vacation, not a new job. Your feelings of overwhelm might be lack of rest, not signs of a real issue.
Let Others In
We all need people in our lives to help us see the things we can’t. Sometimes we are too close to a situation to be objective. Sometimes we need help untangling our emotions from the facts. Sometimes we need someone to help us face up to the things that we don’t want to face.
When someone is changing gradually, like losing weight or aging, we may not notice it if we see them every day. But someone who hasn’t seen them in months will notice right away. It’s the same with the hard situations in our lives. We live with the chaos and adjust accordingly. We may need a friend to assess the situation and say, “This is crazy.”
Look Inward and Upward
As the adage goes, the only thing we can usually control about the situations in our lives is our response to them. And this starts by remembering the true source of our struggles. Just as it doesn’t matter how good the light is if our eye is bad (Matthew 6:22), our problems start within ourselves (James 1:14).
That doesn’t mean we don’t remove ourselves from danger or try to fix bad situations, of course. But most of the everyday struggles that wear us down start with our own grumbling and discontent.
But paradoxically, the problems start within us, but the solution starts outside us. We are blessed with every spiritual blessing by our good Father who never changes (James 1:17). He never fails us, and his grace never runs out.
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