I’m not sure I had ever been so angry.
It felt like an out-of-body experience—like I was watching myself from a distance, thinking, Really? You think this might be a bit much?
Everyone around me had heard my side of the story—my friends, my family, and my poor husband. (It wasn’t his fault, bless him. But he got the full download anyway.)
After the dust settled, I kept replaying it in my mind. I had been wronged. There was a pattern. I was defending others, too. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my response had been…well, way too much.
Hormonal Mood Swings and the Christian Woman
Anger. Irritability. Mood swings. Full-on rage.
These are things women navigating perimenopause, PMS, or postpartum often face—and often feel ashamed of. Sometimes we laugh about it later. Other times we cringe. Sometimes it’s both: I stood up for something that mattered, but did I have to go full scorched-earth to do it?
What Does It Mean to Be Irritable?
We think of “irritable” as being easily annoyed, quick-tempered, liable to snap at the smallest provocation.
Medically, “irritability” describes when a part of the body reacts too strongly to normal stimuli. A sensitive gut might react to dairy that wouldn’t bother most people. In other words, it’s not the trigger that’s abnormal, but the response that’s exaggerated.
Yes, hormonal shifts affect our baseline, but sometimes the problem isn’t just biological. Sometimes the real question is: What was the trigger we’ve been ignoring for too long?
Justify or Condemn? Neither is the Full Story
When we react poorly, we usually do one of two things: we justify or self-condemn.
We justify by saying things like, “Well, even Jesus flipped tables.”
But here’s the thing—you’re not Jesus. And most of the stuff that sets us off doesn’t rise to the level of desecrating the temple.
We condemn ourselves with lines like, “I’m just a terrible sinner. My heart is deceitful. I’m a jerk who needs to repent.”
There may be sin in our response. But reducing it to “I’m just a jerk” keeps us from doing the deeper work. What if repentance is the start of healing, not the end of the story?
Turn the Other Cheek… or Speak Up?
It’s easy to believe the godly option is to stay silent and let it go. But Scripture shows nuance.
- In Matthew 18, Jesus outlines how to confront someone who’s sinned against you.
- In Acts 16, Paul publicly defends himself after being beaten unjustly.
- In 1 Samuel 25, Abigail boldly intervenes to stop a disaster her husband caused.
There are times to speak. There are times to act. Finally, there are moments when silence is not spiritual maturity, it’s fear.
Hormonal Rage Doesn’t Invent Problems–It Reveals Them
Hormonal storms don’t create issues out of nowhere. They strip away our ability to keep pretending everything’s “fine.”
We tell ourselves that it’s not that big a deal. There’s no sense making waves. It’s best to just let it go.
And then one day, when we’re exhausted, emotional, and overwhelmed, we explode—and leave everyone (including ourselves) wondering what just happened.
My Outburst Was Wrong—But So Was My Silence
In my case, my rage felt disproportionate. But it was also the result of years of conflict-avoidance.
I had smiled through gritted teeth. I told myself I was being the bigger person. The truth? I was afraid of uncomfortable conversations. I didn’t want anyone to be upset with me.
So I kept swallowing the tension—until my hormones yanked away the filter and everything came pouring out.
I still needed to repent. But I also needed to reflect. The trigger had always been there. It just took perimenopause to bring it into focus.
Root Cause Analysis: The Holy Spirit Way
Is there a problem in the relationship that needs addressed? A communication gap in your family’s handling of scheduling or chores? An overload of responsibility you’ve silently accepted?
Yes, we must repent when we sin in anger. But then we must act. Not in rage, but in love. We need to address the gap. And, as hard as it may be, ask for help.
Other times, the issue really is you. We can never perfectly engineer our lives to avoid problems. No matter how well we communicate or how carefully we organize, the reality of our fallen world means things are often hard and complicated. People forget. Traffic piles up. Technology crashes. In those moments, we need to humbly accept grace, extend forgiveness, and move on.
What to Do When You Feel the Rage Building
The physical sensation of rage is intoxicating. The surge of adrenaline is energizing. Especially if you’ve been worn thin by sleepless nights or hot flashes.
But unless someone is in danger, don’t ride that wave. Journal your thoughts. Pray Psalm 4. Go for a walk. Call a safe friend. Eat chocolate. Bite your wrist if you have to. But give it a day. If it’s a real issue, it’ll still be there—and you can deal with it calmly and clearly.
Then, when the adrenaline surge has ebbed, look at it through objective eyes. Is this part of a larger pattern? Why does it bother me so much now? What conversation should have happened six months ago? What steps can I take so I don’t end up here again?
Middle Age Is a Gift—And Sometimes, Even the Rage
The beauty of middle age is the clarity it brings. We’ve seen what doesn’t work. We know what matters. We’re tired of surface-level relationships and sugarcoated solutions.
Sometimes hormonal rage is the catalyst we need to confront long-standing issues with courage. It’s the fire that forges wisdom and the wake-up call that leads to wholeness.
We’re not just raging women—we’re rising women, becoming the Titus 2 mentors and truth-speakers this generation desperately needs.
Want to go deeper? Learn how hormones fit into God’s design in this foundational post.
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